


Aberrancy

by Beth Harker (Beth_Harker)



Series: You'll have abs in no time. [7]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Abuse, Character Study, Complete, Electrocution, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Pre Act 2, playing with sci-fi concepts, post loser geek whatever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-10
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21738694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth_Harker/pseuds/Beth%20Harker
Summary: The Squip adjusts Jeremy’s vision.
Relationships: Jeremy Heere & Jeremy Heere's Squip, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell (mentioned)
Series: You'll have abs in no time. [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1309493
Comments: 19
Kudos: 87





	Aberrancy

**Author's Note:**

> Quick note- Although Jeremy’s interactions with the Squip appear friendly at some points during this fic, they’re not meant to be friendly or to show the Squip in a positive light. Jeremy is dealing with a ton of abuse and manipulation, but he’s not really in a mental or emotional place to process it for what it is.

The Squip lets Jeremy eat ice cream after he blocks Michael from his vision. In fact, it all but forces him to eat ice cream. Jeremy is shaky, emotions running high and indiscernible. His heart’s pace is at once painful and invigorating. A part of Jeremy wants to jump and sing, to do something fast and reckless and fun. Another part of him wants to throw himself face down on his bed and sob. 

So, the Squip calls him ’boo’ and tells him to get some food in his body. It praises his good decision making. It tells him that sugar, though usually unacceptable, will help him ground himself in this particular instance. Jeremy’s willing to accept that. He barely feels his body as he goes to his kitchen, gets the vanilla ice cream out of the freezer, doles out two small scoops, and sits down at the table. His face and hands are tingly as he eats without really tasting a single bite. The food kills his tremors and calms the queasy sensation in his stomach. It draws the sickly heat from his face. It's a major improvement. 

**” Well done, Jeremy, ”** says the Squip. It gestures for Jeremy to stand, which he does. It's strange, maybe, that the Squip is praising him for eating dessert. Or maybe it isn't strange. It probably isn't strange, and the Squip is probably right. 

**”Probably?”**

A buzz of electricity runs up Jeremy’s spine. It's gentle and painless, but it makes him wince just the same. 

_” Definitely, ”_ he thinks at the Squip, in his brain-voice. Brain-voice communication is tricky. It's not like with people, where Jeremy can choose what he says. He can pretend to unabashedly love the weird gifts his grandma always gets him for his birthday. He can't hide his mixed feelings about the loss of Michael with carefully selected words and facial expressions. 

The electricity in his spine is stronger this time. It's quick and sharp. It's a warning. 

**” On second thought, sit down.”**

The Squip flicks its wrist and Jeremy sits. The Squip grabs the chair across from him, turns it around, and straddles it, or seems to straddle it. If Jeremy blinks, sometimes he can catch a pixilated shadow of a chair that hasn’t moved from its original position. 

**” Today’s your lucky day, Jeremy. I'm going to adjust your vision. In a few minutes, you’ll see the world in a way that few people can even imagine. But first—”**

The Squip snaps its fingers, and Jeremy’s eyesight blurs. The table and chairs fuzz out into oblivion. He can't read the I Love NY magnet on the fridge, even though it's huge and less than five feet away from him. Only the Squip is in sharp focus. 

**” This is how you saw the world before I found you, ”** the Squip says, its voice soothing and authoritative. 

(It’s how Jeremy saw the world without his glasses, and the Squip didn't find him, he found the Squip. The voice in Jeremy’s head that thinks this is so small, and he’s so sorry for it.)

 **” Never fear. I'll teach you how to think. It's a slow process. You’re slow Jeremy. You’re slow, stupid, and very lucky.** The Squip flashes Jeremy a bright smile. 

”I’m slow and stupid,” Jeremy parrots. ”I’m lucky.” 

The shock that goes through Jeremy this time burns like fire. ”Why?” Jeremy chokes out. Hadn't he been doing what the Squip wanted?

 **” I’m teaching you as I said.”** the Squip flashes Jeremy a gleaming grin. It waves its hand, and Jeremy’s vision clears. The Squip has fixed him again. 

**” This is how most people see the world, ”** the Squip explains. **” It’s how you used to only be able to see with your glasses on. How would you describe it?”**

Jeremy takes a deep breath. What will keep the Squip happy and keep him from getting shocked? ”...Uh... M-marvelous?” Jeremy covers his mouth like he can hide his dumbass stutter with his dumbass hands. 

**”Try again,”** the Squip encourages. **”Remember to think at me.”**

_”Marvelous!”_

The Squip shrugs. It's examining its nails like it's looking for dirt. It’s weird. The Squip inhabits a dirt-free plane of cyber existence, yet it does things like this. It reminds Jeremy of the idle animations that video game characters take on the not otherwise moving. 

**” It’s average. You wanna see marvelous?”**

Jeremy nods.

 **” Check this out.”** The Squip snaps its fingers. The immediate effect is painful. Jeremy covers his eyes, rubbing at them frantically. **” No,”** the Squip orders. Jeremy’s hands freeze and lower of their own volition. His eyes open. The Squip still looks like Keanu Reeves, but he also looks like a God. He's a color that Jeremy has never seen before— at once navy blue and brighter than the purest, whitest light. The table in front of Jeremy is brown, but with what looks like a thin film of orange, only it's more deeply saturated than any shade of orange, and indeed any color that Jeremy has seen in his entire life. There are unfamiliar prisms around each light source in the room. The dark shadows behind the fridge are luscious. Jeremy waves his hand in front of his face. There is an aura around it, in an entirely new shade that Jeremy has never experienced before. 

”How?”Jeremy asks. _”What did you do?”_

**”Humans and animals are able to perceive vastly different arrays of color, based on the number of cones in their eyes. Colors are, after all, just certain wavelengths of light. The typical human has three color receiving cones, allowing him to perceive some colors, but not others. Dogs and cats have even fewer cones. Mantis shrimp have sixteen.**

_“And I have...?”_

**”Twenty.”**

Jeremy nods his head slowly. The movement creates a shimmering ripple effect in the air. Jeremy nods again, just to watch the ripples.  
**”Go on Jeremy. Explore. Have fun some fun.”**

Jeremy raises himself from his chair, coltish and uncoordinated. He keeps his hands out in front of him, to keep from bumping into anything. His kitchen is familiar, but not. Tears prickle the corners of Jeremy’s eyes. They must mean that he’s happy. They must mean that he’s overwhelmed by the beauty around him. After all, he’s been given a gift. 

**“Go outside.”**

Jeremy takes a step forward. Something not-black scuttles by a little ways away from Jeremy’s feet. It looks like a snake with legs, if snakes were made out of oil and void. Jeremy yelps, grabs for the Squip, and stumbles through it, nearly falling. 

**”Not to worry Jeremy! It’s quite harmless. If the creatures you cannot see meant you any harm, you would have felt it long ago.”**

_”Are there a lot of creatures that I can’t see?”_

**”Some. Other people’s Squips, for instance. You would be able to see other Squips, with your current vision.”**

_”Like Rich’s?”_

**Of course, though I’d suggest you don’t seek it out.**

Though Jeremy does not form the mental words to ask _why_ , the Squip’s words create a flurry of confusion, like a swarm of question marks. 

**”Go outside. Lay down in the grass.”**

Jeremy does, albeit in a meandering way, where he gets lost staring at his coat as he tries to put it on, and lost again staring at an oozing swarm of tiny creatures inhabiting the doorknob handle. Once he finally makes it, though, he lies down and gazes up at the sky. It isn’t blue, and it never was blue. In fact, Jeremy is starting to doubt the existence of blue as he once used to perceive it. The Squip sits down next to Jeremy. It’s companionable, like sitting with ~~Michael~~ a friend. 

_”Is it difficult to make my eye grow cones or whatever?”_

The Squip cocks its head to the side, considering. **”Difficult is not the operable word here. It’s a high-power activity, and not one that I would wish to regularly carry out. It also exhausts your system. It would not be advantageous to make it an every day thing.**

That makes sense. Jeremy can’t imagine talking to Christine, or kissing Brooke, or doing math homework with his eyes like this. Seeing is taking up the entirety of his energy and attention. 

_”What other cool shit can you do?”_

**”I can make certain changes to your hormones, to make your scent more appealing to human females and decrease your acne. I can create appealing dreams, to ensure a pleasant and productive rest.**

_”Can you make me levitate things? Like Carrie?_  
The Squip cocks its head once again. Its eyes glaze over the way they do when it’s reviewing some data. **”You are referring to the title character in Stephen King’s novel, published on April 5th, 1974.”**

_”Yeah.”_

The Squip chuckles gently. **”An entertaining work of fiction! I’ve just finished reading it. Carrie White’s telekinesis did not produce a favorable outcome.”**

_”I guess not.”_

The Squip doesn’t respond. Its eyes flick back and forth. **”I have just completed reading Stephen King’s entire body of work.**

_”Did you like it?”_

**”Irrelevant. To answer your question about my powers, I’m capable of using your mind as a conduit for controlling electronic devices. I can make minor changes to your body at a chemical and cellular level.”**

_”Could you cure cancer?_

**”If I were placed in a vessel worth preserving, and that vessel had cancer, then yes.”**

Jeremy sucks in a breath through the sudden ice in his chest. He’s not a vessel worth preserving. The Squip is going to tell him he’s not worth preserving. 

**”Not yet.”** the Squip runs a non-hand through Jeremy’s hair. **”But you will be someday. You’ve made improvements Jeremy, particularly in the area of taking instructions. You have a bright future. Trust me.”**

Jeremy nods. He has to trust the Squip. It’s his only chance of being happy. It’s his only chance of being loved. Maybe Michael loved him, but that only goes to show how deep Michael’s defects lie. Obviously, everybody else found Jeremy repulsive before the Squip came into the picture. 

Jeremy stares up at the sky until his eyes begin to ache. When that happens, the Squip snaps his fingers, and Jeremy’s vision goes back to normal. If anything, this makes Jeremy’s eyes hurt even worse. He whines. 

**”Change hurts,”** says the Squip. **”Genuine improvement hurts more than you can begin to imagine. Are you up to the challenge?”**

Jeremy grits his teeth. If he moves too much, he’s going to be sick. He nods even so. _”Yes,”_ he says. He says it through his nausea and the burning sensation in his eyeballs. He says it because he has to, and he says it because he’s excited to discover what he’s going to become.

**Author's Note:**

> I basically live for comments.


End file.
